Conversations With My Family #1
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I’ve decided to do something new! Every Friday on my blog shall be known, from this day forward, as “Family Friday”. I will be bringing you some of the highlights of my conversations with my family – be aware, nothing shall be made up…be prepared for some very strange things to come up in conversations.
Just to give you an idea…I have a key to the P-Unit’s house (if you’re just joining up the “P-Unit” is my parents – much like the G-Unit…but they’re white and older). If, when I let myself in, my dad is getting out of the shower (which I must add does happen regularly as I tend to go there a few nights a week on route home from work), he always, without fail, yells to my mum that I’m spying on him / being a pervert and trying to catch a glimpse of his ass / or that I have some sick incest thing going on. Yep, that’s my dad! The man who thinks it’s funny to call his child a pervert. Okay, so it always makes me laugh and that’s probably why he does it. But just so you know…I’m not all those things my dad says I am.
Conversations With My Family #1
Whilst having a general conversation about personal ads (as you do) my sister made a statement that really took the conversation down the wrong path. Here’s yet another insight into my strange relationship with my family…
Sister: I’m a born again virgin, but not for Jesus.
Me: Has “it” grown back over?
Sister: I reckon so, but out of choice though, not because I look rough.
Me: Have you wax-sealed it?
Sister: Not yet, but I might sew it up.
Me: Ewwww, they actually do that in middle eastern coutries!!
Sister: I know! I don’t know why though!
Me: So that the men (I shall not repeat the word I really used) know that their wives have not been doing the sex with other people. They leave a tiny little hole for peeing through. I’ve seen pictures!
Sister: Horrified face
Me: What? I work in a hospital!
KPC: Why don’t they just use that iron-on stuff?
Me: Wonderweb?
KPC: Yeah!! Loads easier and just iron it on!
I’m not sure I’ve ever laughed so much about wonderweb a vag!
Footnote: My sister definitely does not look “rough”. She’s a (UK) size 6-8 (I think that’s a US 2-4 or 4-6?) and blonde version of me!
Footnote 2: Working in a hospital does not mean Googling “female castration” is part of your job. It wasn’t me, I swear! I just felt the need to look at the photos. Don’t do it!
Footnote 3: I just realised, shockingly, that I have only ever once mentioned KPC before!! I think it was my very first post and not even on this site!!!!! Disgraceful! I feel the intro deserves pretty much an entire post though so I shall bring you together in style when I figure out how / what!
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They do that in the middle east? EWWW. Chastity belt would have done the trick, psychos. Too scary!:D
They do…don’t google it!!!
I can totally get into this Friday thing! Loving it!
You should do it and I’ll get carried away and make a button! Lol x
I’m with Sassy…I am going to look forward to your Friday posts! Families are so much fun!!!
Haha, I already have a buch on Friday posts…seriously, my family are part-crazy I’m sure!!
[...] of self-loathing and inadequacy towards crafty jazz) and so I have some good little treats for Family Friday(we had a further discussion on vagina wonderwebbing last night! Delightful). I’d just [...]
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