Sometimes I wish I was as good at blogging as I am in person. As in, I sometimes struggle with writing because it isn’t like a proper conversation, not a straightforward flowing one anyway. I work better when I have someone to bounce off. I am a pretty awesome conversationalist! I could literally talk for hours and, whilst you may be bored of me, you will be at least me mildly entertained.
The evidence of how awesome it would be if we were friends (taken from Gchats, emails etc to various friends):
When you’re ill, and suggested you might be dying, then I might say this to you:
- If you’re going to Machu Picchu I might inadvertently convince you that your boyfriend will propose to you at the top (as it is your anniversary afterall) and then somehow we’ll end up looking at rings whilst shopping together. Then I’ll pretend it wasn’t me who planted to seed in your head when it never happens…and 2 years later it still hasn’t happened!
- When you forget your alphabet we could sing it together (in Gchat of course). Or, we could until I forget the ending (the tune, not the letters!).
When you’re sad I’ll email you and waffle on like a crazy woman in the hope you might smile at my misfortune:
“Things here are jumping between cold / wet / rainy / cold / sleety / cold / wet / snowy / cold and wet / blustery / cold / icy / cold. So yeah, pretty awesome! I’m on my second cold of the year, despite not having a cold since 1999 (ok, maybe an exaggeration) previous to this AND, most ridiculously, I have 3 new coats! How can I get a cold when I have a coat??? I think I’m going to request that the good people of Next, Diesel and River Island return my money as their clothing clearly doesn’t do exactly what it says on the tin (read: “Keeps out the cold. Might contain nuts”).”
If you’re desperately trying to find a new job there’s a chance I might email you resume cover letter suggestions, these will luckily for you generally include things like:
“… please hire me because I’m hot and if you’re unsold on my awesome resume….I might let you touch my vagina”).”
I’ll most definitely tell you about the dream I had when you ran off to France and joined the circus!
I’ll even let you know when Britney’s next album is out because despite the way you deny liking her I have in fact seen your hidden CD collection! Yes, I’ve been there!
When you’re getting married and I can’t be there I will absolutely email our mutual gay friend and request he takes my place as head bridesmaid and ensure they play plenty of Barry Manilow and Lionel Ritchie (mainly because I don’t think Australian people fully appreciate these things!).
Life with me as a friend is pretty damn swell (but I don’t say things like “swell” in real life, sorry!). So although I’m not always the best blogger in the world perhaps you should send me an email to see my full potential!!
Listening to Breaking Benjamin – The Diary of Jane
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Like the new blog.. you shoudl write more! But then so should I….