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Do you ever wake up the morning after the night before and struggle to understand where you left your hangover?

This has been happening often lately.  I got out of bed this morning to find 3 empty bottles of wine, an empty Malibu bottle and several other bottles scattered around my kitchen.  Along with 4 empty pizza boxes.  So it figures that I should be hungover, right?  I mean, I almost (almost!) feel ripped off.  What is the point of getting so drunk you know you’re going to feel rough the next day?  Having a hangover gives you a bonafide reason to stay in your PJs all day and watch trashy TV.

I feel cheated.  CHEAT I TELL YOU.  Not that I’d complain too much as in all honesty I’m pretty sure I’d be borderline miserable if I actually had a hangover.

So I got up, put on some clean PJs and settled in for a day on the internet making plans, eating a whole bag of cookies and wasting time…because what else do you do when you’d planned for a hangover?

What did you do last night?

- that you realise just how lucky you are

- that you appreciate everyone around you

- that you stop whining about all the inconsequential bullsh*t

- that you remember just because something isn’t happening on your doorstep that it still has an effect on you

- that you realise there are massive drawbacks to having such a wide community of friends

- that you realise how much those people mean to you

- that you send the most important ones messages telling them that under no circumstances can they travel anywhere that isn’t inland

- that you realise you live on an island

- that you’re reminded that your town is surrounded by water on 3 sides

- that you’re country can only just about cope with a spontaneous tea party (it’s less likely if there are scones involved)

- that you remind yourself to appreciate how luck you are

What happened to you today?

Listening to:  Loick Essien – Love Drunk

Do you ever go to bed early on a Sunday evening thinking that it might help the week go smoother?  Except it’s 10pm and you’re in bed and you can’t sleep because there’s, what sounds like, a B52 bomber sleeping next to you and all you want to do is put a pillow over its face or slit your wrists.   Then this early night turns into 4 early nights and you’re more tired than ever before because unexplainable things are stressing you out and you can’t sleep for going over things in your head, and the to-do lists, and the haven’t-done lists, and the need-to-do lists, and the holy-crap-I-don’t-have-time-for-this lists and did I mention that World War III is still going on next to me whilst I fail to get to sleep for the fourth night in a row?

Then every night you have a massive list of things to do and the list isn’t even urgent and could wait until next week but you feel like you have to do it because otherwise you have to explain your slackness, which isn’t actually slackness and is maybe partly caused by the couple of weirdly grey hairs you’ve found in your head (that you thought you’d pulled out!) and all the other things that are piling on top of you and the thought of another sleepless night just makes you want to run away.

But on the brightside this should hopefully only carry on another another 2 or 3 weeks (it’s been 3 already) and you give an awesome pokerface and everyone says it seems easier when you’re around because you have a way at cheering people up (even if it is with a dirty comment or something highly inappropriate).

So you put up with the terrible nights sleep and manage to fix a problem that’s been making you anxious all day and then tomorrow is Friday and you made it through the week.

How’s your week so far?

Listening to:  Loick Essien – Stuttering

That’s unrelated.  So anyway…

Someone made a comment to me recently about how great it must to be British.  I was a little confused to say the least.  Like really?  Did you REALLY mean that?  It’s cold, it’s like a little island compared to most countries and with the amount of people living here illegally (for free, I’d like to add) we’re probably going to sink before the time I reach 30.  If I ever reach 30 that is.

But, you know what, it probably is pretty good being British.  It’s like we’re seen as a novelty item.  Like that candy thong you bought your dad because you thought it was funny.  No?  Just me?  Ugh, how do I get myself in this mess.

Moving on.

So yeah, where were we?  Oh right, novelty items.  No, being British, that’s it.

I’ve figured out that the main thing people from other countries relate to someone being British is the Queen.  She is pretty awesome.  And old.  And stuff.  Did you know she’s of German decent?  Oh the irony.  But anyway, having a Queen means that we have a Royal family and I’m pretty sure simply being able to drop the word “royal” into an everyday conversation is what makes us British people so awesome.  For example:

“The parcel I posted via Royal Mail took approximately 2 months to arrive”

“Well aren’t you a royal idiot!”

“I think it was royally ridiculous when you got your dad an edible thong”

So yeah, see what I mean?  Adding the word “royal” to any sentence makes it so much more sophisticated.  So much more British.  And to think I didn’t think there was anything good about being British.

What things make your nationality worthwhile?

Listening to: Chromeo feat Elly Jackson – Hot Mess

If we were friends I would spend a whole day feeling anxious for you when you’re sad.

And at the exact point that I give up with the sympathy and advice, because I’m at a loss for how to make it better, I’ll make you laugh.

I’ll send you links to YouTube of songs I love and songs I’m convinced were written about me, even though I’ve never met the guy who wrote or is singing it.

You’ll laugh and tell me I’m weird to you.  But I’m past the point of caring about whether I’m weird or not.  Because you’re sad.  And you’re never sad.  But it’s been a whole 24 hours hours, which is a long time when you spend 19 hours a day talking to me.

So instead of being offended that you repeatedly tell me how weird I am, I will take it on the chin.

I’ll tell you that I know that the music isn’t to your taste.  But that Celine Dion is pregnant, I heard, and so you’ll have to wait a while for any new music.

And You’ll laugh.  For what feels like the first time in a month.

You’ll tell me you don’t love Celine Dion.

I will insist you do…until you sing “my heart will go on”, which is highly ironic given the circumstances.

I, in no uncertain terms, will tell you that “YES IT F*CKING WELL WILL….NOW PULL YOUR ASS TOGETHER!”.

And you’ll laugh some more.

And I’ll tell you I love you…and hope that you know I mean it.

But I don’t want to have sex with you.

Just saying.

Listening to:  The song I adore – Bon Ivor  – Skinny Love

Listening to:  The song that must’ve been written about me – Mumford & Sons – White Blank Page

So, I am aware that I’m a super slacker and lack masses of substance lately.

But I have issues.  You know that!

My funny is wavering a little, except….well….it isn’t.

Are we still on the same page?  No?  Ugh!

Well, you see, I’ve lost the ability to talk to myself here…in these little post boxes.  Like I’m amazing when I have someone else to bounce off, and lately I’ve been boucing off a lot of other funny (but not as funny as me…obvi) people…so many people that I have no time for actually thinking about being funny for a post.  That’s almost impossible.  I mean, how do you think about being funny?  Really?

So I just thought I’d remind you about something else instead.

We are SUPER busy over at Caffeinated Designs, busy like you wouldn’t believe!  Between the blogs, websites and splash pages my partner in crime and I now speak more than I speak to anyone outside of the internet!  Shocking.  But very true.  Ok, ok, maybe not so shocking.  But whatever.

If you want anything done to your blog just yell!  We’re damn cheap (but everso classy – like screw top wine – not boxed wine yet not quite cork popping…hmm…maybe we are cork popping!).

So anyway, fixing and prettying up other peoples blogs is a busy thing to do.  I havent even finished this blog!  I’m far too dedicated to the cause.

So anyway, I’m just letting you know that this little corner of the internet may turn into a book on random / ridiculous conversations I have daily for a while.  It’s true.  Gchat has now taken over my life and I’m having the most ridiculous conversations you could imagine.  The scariest thing is…that I’m actually like that in real life as well…it’s not just typing that sends me crazy.

You know where I am if you wish to join it!

Listening to Katy B – Katy On A Mission

To prove that I’ve been busy doing a little living lately  I’m just going to get on with showing you the evidence instead of giving the excuses!  So here goes nothing…

Attended a wedding here (in my home town)

These guys were also at the wedding!

A Little Bit of Blog Design

Watched some Fireworks!

Massive Amounts of Gardening!

Spending Lots of Time at the Beach!

And Watching a Lot of Beautiful Sunsets

It’s true!  This whole happiness thing is pretty damn good!  My first issue is the diary, again, though.  Having failed to actually find one I like (whoever would’ve thought it’s so difficult!) I’m still a little unorganised…meaning that for Saturday non-date  date night with a friend  I must’ve asked her what time we were meeting roughly 10 times, including a text an hour before being to meet just to check (because I really have become that  forgetful (blame my age).

What’ve I been upto you ask (what?  I thought I heard you ask, I’m going to tell you anyway).

• - I’m in love with my new couches / sofas!  They’re so wide you could lie 2 people next to each other and still have room (it’s like having 2 extra double beds with arms and backs…hmm…if you put the 2 together it’d be like have a padded cell without the lid!
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• - I drank frozen margarithas for hours on Saturday and there was no sign of a hangover Sunday!  A miracle!
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- I have been worshipping Joshua Radin’s new album all weekend.

- Today I’m sick, although I feel like I sound too cheerful to be sick.  But I am sick all the same (thanks for poisoning me mom!).  I’m the kind of sick that might require me to be ladelled into my coffin at the end of the day, if you get what I mean.

- Hmm, other stuff….KPC’s list of things to do is still increasing!  I’m getting so into this home improvement stuff (did you like that way I said that, when it’s clearly not me doing any of it) that I’ve roped my dad in to some stuff next week!  An update will follow when it’s been done!

- We are doing awesome stuff over at Caffeinated Designs, plus, don’t forget we’re super cheap so definitely worth a visit!

- Today I’m bored of my layout and may make a new one!  I know, you’re shocked aren’t you!   It figures that when I’m miserable things stay the same for 10 months then when I get happy we try out 3 different looks in as many months!

- One day I’ll stop rambling (you should try being in my head!).

- I’m also sure that oneday I’ll , again, have something more interesting to write about.  Any suggestions?