Confessions Of A Secret Keeper » TMI

TMI Thursday – Someone Elses Misfortune

Jen — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:26:52 +0000

As I skipped TMI last week, because I am bad, I thought I’d share a little over-share story with you.

Every year there is a VW surf festival in the UK called Run to the Sun…and most years we trek down for camping, drinking, dancing and general good times. (See, I told you I camp!). Anyhoo, there is always a large group of us and it tends to turn in to some kind of mammoth event (it is already mammouth in general, but I mean for our group).

On the year in question there were 19 of us – 6 tents, 7 cars, 1 van, 1 fridge, 2 guitars, 24 crates of beer (x24 bottles per crate – they were on special offer!), spirits and mixers galore and much much more.

This is the tale of an impressionable young man, who isn’t so impressionable and not so young (is 27 young?). We were drinking around the camp fire. Okay, so there was no fire, more of a disposable BBQ (and please remember, it’s camping as in tents not log cabins). By this point we were all pretty drunk. The young man in question had recently split up with his girlfriend (of questionable morals, values…everything about her was questionable really) following her latest violent outburst (when she threw a brick through the window of the pub he managed) and arrest. honestly, to look at this girl you wouldn’t think she was capable. She was very petite, slim, quite pretty, fair…she basically looked adorable – a fantastic disguise for a psycho.

I digress! Anyhoo, midway through Kumbiar(ok, maybe that was a lie) Mr Impressionable stood up and told everyone he had a broken weiner (yes, wEIner, not wIEner). Clearly laughter ensued and a lot of puzzled looks. Mr Impressionable went on to explain that approximately 8 months prior to RTTS he and his then GF had got a little frisky in the car park of the pub he runs one night after having a few glasses of “pop” (ha, I felt like my mom saying that!). After the friskiness he had gone inside to find himself covered in blood…and by covered (he said) it was as thought Aunt Flohad been really angry that he’d touched her vadge!

Mr Impressionable went about cleaning up his business and then decided he needed to tinkle. Unfortuantely, as he started to tinkle, he realised that Aunt Flodefinitely had not come to town when he felt a sharp sting coming from his man-gina (I just like that word). It turned out that he had split open some skin around the turtleneck and it had bled rather a lot.

So, 9 months down the line and hisweiner was still broken. Everytime he had the sexing it split open again.

Upon being asked why he hadn’t gone to the doctors Mr Impressionable exclaimed that he was far too embarrassed to do a thing like that…and so he went for 13 months with no sex! YES! A weiner takes 13 months to heal!!

The moral of the story? don’t stop having sex with a psycho or she’ll smash your windows!!

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TMI Thursday – When Peeing Yourself Can Be Sexy

Jen — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:13:32 +0000

I met, we’ll call him, Cyril (lol…The Racoons is on!) in the bar I worked at whilst at uni. We’d gotten to know each other over a few months. We went out on a few “dates” (by dates I mean hookups at clubs after work) and got on pretty well.

One night, whilst I was working, Cyril asked if i wanted to go back to his place with him. I said no…ok, that was a lie, I said yes. I finished work early that night and was pretty excited to go back for some sex education!

So excited that I totally overlooking nipping to the toilet prior to leaving work! Ugh! Big mistake! I hadn’t taken my car to work, as I had planned on drinking after my shift. Cyril didn’t have his car because he had the same plan as me (although he didn’t work at the bar…he just liked to get drunk).

We walked! (Seriously, why did I not think to cab it??). It was a 40 minute UP HILL walk! It’s a good job there was going to be a light at the end of this damn tunnel!

By the time we got to the top of the hill I was DESPERATE for a pee! By desperate I mean SERIOUSLY DESPERATE. That kind of desperate when you can feel your organs all squishing up inside you to make more room for the pee. Then you get the gut-wrenching pains of too much freakin pee!!

Obviously, not wanting to show my delightful self up, I played it cool and waited a few minutes to ask where the bathroom was when we got inside (god I’m an idiot!!).

Cyril went to the kitchen and I literally flew up the stairs!! Finding the bathroom seemed to take forever, although in reality there were only 4 doors to choose from upstairs.

Bladder fail!

I didn’t make it.

Flood gates were wiiiiiiiiiide open!

Oh god.

Now what!?

I was wearing my black work ruffly skirt. So that was something at least. At least there were no giant pee patches on my ass and I’d somehow manage to pee on the ruffles and not completely on the floor (but yeah, there was a patch on the floor). You know when you see little girls desperate for a pee and they shove there hand between their legs – like it’s actually going to help? Well, that was me with the ruffles try to save my dignity.

Dignity fail.

What do I do? Have an impromptu shower without asking and seem like a complete and utter fruitcake? Or admit to peeing my “pants”!?

Neither.

I was slutty.

So, first plan: Just remove knickers (in my head I thought he’d think I was naughty and it would be good). In reality I had still covered my skirt in pee. Second plan: Remove knickers and skirt – logistically this just wouldn’t work…how random am I going to look just wearing my work top? Seriously? I went with plan 3: Remove everything!

So I got naked, gave “down there” a quick swill, grabbed a bath towel and wrapped it around and then gave my skirt a quite once over in the sink. You may be thinking that was silly…but I had another plan (god, if only I had the brain capacity to plan good stuff these days!). I put my skirt on the floor by the shower knowing that it would be quite plausable for it to have got wet whilst we were “cleaning the shower”.

Without giving you details and turning this into an erotic short story the evening went extremely well! Cyril got the (possibly) night of his life with a girl who just decides it’s time for a shower whilst he’s making drinks and I got away with peeing myself!!

We dated (and by dated I mean hooked-up) for 6 months. Then he moved away with his job. No more pee sex! Lol…well, that sounded wrong on all kinds of levels – but I couldn’t think of a closing line!

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TMI Thursday – Another Toothbrush Tale

Jen — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 08:34:00 +0000

This week is another toothbrush related TMI – sorry for last weeks weak effort!

Anyhoo, back in the good old days of high school we used to get Aftershock shots – sold in shot sized plastic cups ridiculously cheap (clearly cheaper to buy a bottle, but it doesn’t seem it when buying a bottle!), from Sainsburys. This was always a great idea when buying them because they were stupidly strong (read: bleach strong) and hence got you drunk quick – why this was important I’m not so sure now.

Anyhoo, my drinking buddy of the time was a girl named C who I went to high school with and we always had a great time when out – and in fact still do (it’s a miracle we survived our drinking days so we still have to meet up and mourn the death of our livers now and then).

One Friday night we were getting ready at her house. I’d bought the customary 6 pack of Aftershock’s (there was another friend drinking with us as well) as well as a bottle of vodka and some orange juice (to take away the disgusting Aftershock taste!).

So, the first shot each went down as ok as can the be expected. Quick schlurrrrrp of V&O and onto the second shot. I forgot to mention that the Aftershock’s were the first drink of the evening! As we “swallowed” the second shot I could see Cs face contorting a little. The cortorsion turned into a grimace and all of a sudden the Aftershock had turned to puke and it was back in the shot glass, all over her hands and on the carpet!!

A lot of laughter ensued as C continued to vomit. In to her hands. In that classy way that it somehow sneaks between your fingers and seeps out all over the place.

After several minutes of laughing and general unconcern for a vomiting C I suggested we perhaps move the puke party to the bathroom…thinking that C could use the toilet as a better sick bowl. So, when we got to the bathroom C decided the sink would be a good place to be sick. Have you ever been sick in a sink before? You know that thing called a plug hole? The bit with bars on it? Well, it’s to stop large objects getting into the pipes (I think). So when you’re puking up chunks of some kind of veg, with purple Aftershock, it isn’t really going to work so well.

I really think the laughter was the main cause of so much sick. After a little while the sink was getting a bit full and C didn’t seem to want to move to the toilet. She handed me a toothbrush whilst she sat on the floor cleaning her grubby little sick mouth, and asked me to try and unblock the sink. I am suck a good friend! I did it, not really thinking about the toothbrush.

Being a hardcore and seasoned drinker C still came out! Impressed? You should be!

Later on in the night we got to talking about the toothbrush. She said it didn’t really matter much because it wasn’t hers….it was her brothers!! Gag!

(p.s – Lilu, how are the paragraphs looking? My work PC is hideous and makes everything look funny!).

****UPDATE****

Just incase you haven’t noticed (but I’ve had numerous tweets / emails so you probably have noticed) by comments box seems to be broken / playing bad!! I haven’t changed anything although I vaguely remember a plugin update for spam filter recently. Damn spam filter! But it’s currently blocking on average (my stats tell me) 113 spam comments a week – so it is kind of necessary.

I’m also having problems with my posts – paragraphs are “squishing” (hehe) and it’s not looking so great.

SOOOOOO…as soon as I get a chance I will change the theme / layout and try to sort it out!! I’m very sorry!!!

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TMI Thursday – Seriously, You Stole My Toothbursh?

Jen — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 08:04:07 +0000

This is more of a hysterical / unfortuante series of events (why thank you Lemony Snicket) than a proper TMI – I’m going lighthearted instead of slapping you full force with a wet fish today. It may not even seem funny to you because you can’t relive it in your head like I will be in mine through the whole thing!

One weekend Jess (BFF in Oz) and I were left to our own devices by pretty much everyone! This wasn’t something that happened often because we are generally trouble when combined with alcohol – like the way baking soda mixed with vinegar explodes…that’s how things went down when we were drinking.

This particular weekend we enrolled someone new into our merry little gang. A girl I had known for literally 2 weeks whilst she temped where I work. It seemed a good idea at the time! In my defense 2 weeks isn’t enough time to find out if someone is a crazyass is it!? (Ha, she’s not even the main reason this story is funny!). So, Jess, Crazyass and another friend came over to my house to get ready. Then we painted the town red. For the next few hours my mind is a little alcohol-blind….until later that night Jess approached me to tell me that Crazyass was “touching” her. Yes, our brand spanking new friend was inappropriately raunchy dancing / touching with my Jess! The cheek. Jess followed this up with “but if you did it it would be ok”…thanks!

Crazyass was seriously hammered beyond belief! Seriously, I admit to the occasion alcoholic tendencies in my youth, but I was never an immature drunk. You know when girls get all stupid and one minute they’re your best friend and the next they’re crying hysterically. That was Crazyass! Un/luckily with the next 5 minutes she had disappeared! (To be followed up at about 5am with abusive texts from her sister saying she isn’t a lesbian…erm, who said she was???).

Onto the funny stuff! So Jess and I did what we usually did….hit the shots!! Squashed frogs and dirty ozzies a-plenty!! Followed by copious amounts of vodka and redbull (our regular drink of choice!). As you can probably imagine this, followed by a few hours of dancing and more drinking, lead to us being somewhat worse-for-wear (what does that saying even mean!?).

We somehow managed to get back to my house but when we got in things went very wrong. I got glasses of water (being the good host that I am) and we’d had jacket potatoes on the way home…so things were set to look good for the morning. I went upstairs to sort out beds and stuff and Jess went to “hug” the toilet. I came back and found Jess passed out on the bathroom floor….so I went and passed out on my bed. A little while later I was woken by the sound of someone trying to open my front door….panic not, it was drunken Jess!

She’d called a taxi and was trying to go home…unsuccessfully! I went downstairs and opened the door and saw that she was wearing (I jest not) her PJ bottoms tucked neatly into her black stiletto knee high boots and the top she’d worn out with her PJ top over the top. Delightful! In a split second Jess had emptied the entire contents of her purse on the floor, including a lipgloss that we never found (and she’s probably still upset about).

The taxi arrived and Jess fell asleep in it on her way home!

Next Morning!

I woke up to the sound of my phone…it was Jess….it was about 9am!!

It didn’t take long to figure out we were both still drunk (thank god we weren’t hungover!), the deal was sealed when I fell out of bed and couldn’t stop laughing despite hitting my head on the bedside table! I had been summoned to Jess’ house over the course of the conversation and my mission was to go via McDonalds.

So, I dressed appropriately….in lovely clean PJs. Packed my “lounging” gear – which consisted of DVDs, chocolate, slippers (what?) and a blanket…..and got in the car. Looking back I can see clearly where this could’ve gone very wrong! McDonalds drive-thru is about 5 mins from my house, and then Jess’ house was about 20 mins from that. I made it to McDonalds in one piece despite continuous txt messages on the way and fits of hysterics for no apparent reason. I collected cheese burgers, chicken nuggets, milkshakes, fries and fillet of fish (yuck!) and was on my merry way.

The rest of the drive was a little scary as the quickest way to Jess’ was to hit the dual-carriageway (a bit like a mini-motorway). I had to stop on route to puke. Classy lady!

I reached Jess, in 1 piece (but with a little piece of me left at the side of the road somewhere), and found her waiting in the hallway…on the floor of course. We sat and “almost died” on the couch for several hours when Jess pulled a toothbrush from her purse.

Me: “I cannot believe you stole my toothbrush!”

This doesn’t sound as funny as it was but just imagine it with 2 drunk and hysterical girls who narrated the entire thing to each other over txt whilst apart!

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Protected: TMI Thurs – Gwen.B Nearly Has a Baby!

Jen — Thu, 21 May 2009 07:23:10 +0000

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There’s a Monster Under My Bed!

Jen — Tue, 19 May 2009 09:59:47 +0000

My next guest is a sassy little lady named Serena. She lives over at Whisper Your Secrets…if you’ve not read her blog…then pop over there as she’s making life changing decisions as we speak…take it away Miss Serena…

____________________

So today I’m following in Cavy’s light and fluffy footsteps and decided that I would admit a shameful condom moment. Sit back, relax and don’t piss yourself laughing…

A couple of years back Dan and I went to Florida for a two weeks vacation. We stayed in a crappy chain hotel (f*ck up #1). We were two days away from leaving, our room was “lived in” to say the least and we had claimed the separate double bed as our ‘dump site’ for everything be it shopping or washing.

On that night I figured I better charge my cell and whilst leaning down the side of our bed and rummaging around my crap I touch something I don’t recognise. F*ck up #2

I keep touching that thing I don’t recognise trying to work out what it is; F*ck up # 3.

I then get my lazy ass out of bed to look under the bed to see what I am touching; Fuck up #3 (I wish I hadn’t looked).

A USED CONDOM!!!! Eeeeewwwwwww gross!

Now I don’t normally get this abrupt or angry with people in the customer service industry because I’ve been there, done that and got the t-shirt. But the fact is you can pick up almost everything from a condom and I was seriously pissed they put me at risk!

Anyhoo, I proceeded to quietly explain to the front desk what I found and that I wanted something done about it to which the cow behind the desk replied ‘it’s your mess, clean it up’. Well ladies and gents that is where I flipped. I told them I was going out for dinner and by the time I was back I wanted to room cleaned and disinfected or I’d sue. Again she gave me attitude insinuating it was my condom so it was my problem. It is at that exact point, I screamed this at the top of my voice:

“THAT IS NOT MY USED CONDOM YOU COW!”

It was at this exact moment the hottest guy in the world (cue god-like light coming from his ass) walked into the lobby and gave me the weirdest look ever; oh the shame! The manager promptly gave us a room upgrade, apologised and shouted at the clerk for being so rude – have some of that bitch!

Dear Person Who Previously Stayed in Our Room; I’m so glad you were practicing safe sex but next time, pick a condom that looks like fun (surgical white does nothing for romance!) and clean yourself up you skank!

Adios chicas!

____________

Tomorrow we have some of the best kind of sexy….awkward-sexy!!

DON’T FORGET – EACH COMMENT ON THE SAFE SEX POSTS WILL BE ENTERED INTO THE PRIZE DRAWER (FREE SEX STUFF, REMEMBER!?).

IF WANT EXTRA ENTRIES DO THE USUAL – DO A POST ON YOUR OWN BLOG, SUBSCRIBE, TWEET ETC…JUST MAKE SURE YOU LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE IN YOUR COMMENT!!

(NB by “free sex stuff” I mean a large amount condoms, some sex books, sex toys, lubes…pretty much anything that I can find (sex related) that will be delivered to my house in discreet packaging – or my gay neighbours might keep the parcels!).

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Womanizer??? Much Worse!! (13)
Hot Park Kid! (8)
TMI Thurs – Gwen.B Nearly Has a Baby! (8)
Vodka & Sex Don’t Mix Well (14)
No More Safe Sex After This! (7)

You Will Find No Shame in This Corner! (TMI Thurs)

Jen — Thu, 07 May 2009 06:37:17 +0000

***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!***

I’d just like to point out that I’m not always sick when I drink! In fact, it’s quite rare that I’m sick!! My TMIs are puke related because I don’t wish to go with the other “Ps” unless we can add penie!! I’d have plenty of those stories!

I like to go back in time for TMI, it makes me laugh! Let me take you back to my 16^th birthday! (Queue readers staring into space dreamily and vision going blurry, maybe even a bit of tinkly music!!). My 16^th birthday conveniently landed on a Saturday night (we’ve already established that I began my drinking / clubbing career early so you can see where the night will begin!). Still being somewhat of a girly girl (although not too much) I loved a good sleepover!! Generally for birthdays we had a group of 12 girls (the BFF clan!) and we’d have sleepovers and watch horror films as not all of the girls were allowed to go to bars etc. My 16^th was a little different though. My parents had called all of the parents and discussed the pros and cons of letting us all out (thanks p-unit!)…obviously I was there enforcing the pros in the background (safety in numbers, we’re going to do it anyway, at least you’ll know where we are bla bla bla). All but 2 of the girls were allowed to come, 10 is a good number!

Drinking ensued!

See evidence below!

Shortly after photo 3 I was handed 2 double whisky and lemonade’s, but I was told it was just lemonade – honestly I am not usually that dumb. I’m strictly a vodka girl (unless it’s in a cocktail) but I like pretty much any mixer (apart from tonic – are you taking notes??). I sat down and both drinks were gone in literally seconds – it was the tiniest “dash” of lemonade I hasten to add!

I sat for a minute. KP was sat to my right making out with the BF of the night (lol…bless her!). I turned. I puked. All over her leg! I am classy! It was ok though. My puke was pure alcohol, there were no lumps and, especially, no carrots! She got off lightly! I’m proud to tell you that I carried on drinking after this minor hiccup!

TO THIS DAY this moment in my life is still discussed by friends at every opportunity, “do you remember when you were sick on KPs leg?” is a quiestion I hear quite regularly. KP lives in London now and we catch up every time she’s back. Every time we get the photos out and we discuss the birthdays of the past! I love the ridiculous things I did in my youth.

DON’T FORGET on Thursday’s I also blog over here. Today’s topic = first kiss, mine = big flop!

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Part 2 TMI – I’m Beginning to Wonder Whether I Was an Alcoholic in My Youth!

Jen — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 06:30:33 +0000

A word from Miss Pukester 2009…

Recap this, it’s yesterday’s post!! You’ll probably realise from this story and the other that I have in fact been put off cheating for life – bad things happen to cheaters!

During the same week that that happened I attended a media event hosted by a friend. Unfortunately for me, it was the middle of the summer, baking hot and I’d been fed the line of “let’s get druuuuuuuuuuuuuuunk” several times and it had sunk in! Amazingly I had the foresight to leave the party early – with said friend who was meant to be hosting…who was a sexy hot male with a surname I could’ve imagined fitting with my first name and our children would have been b.e.a.utiful!! So as you can imagine I was bound to ruin my chances and humilate myself in from of Mr Perfect!

So, we left and found our way to a dingy little bar down the street…we picked this one as the outside was plastered with posters for cheap shots! Several squashed frogs, jager bombs and dirty ozzies later we were pretty drunk! The street we were on was directly over from the sea / beach – time for a swim anyone? We stumbled over to the beach, stripped off and swam…or splashed.

I was feeling a bit queezy, so turned around to be sick (in the sea), hoping my “date” (thats how I imagine him when I was drunk) wouldn’t see. He didn’t see. Unfortuantely, seconds after (set scene: Jen wiping puke from mouth and dragging hair through it a little, naked, stood in sea only up to waist height) he leapt at me from behind, pushing me, and himself, directly in to my sicky water. I obviously wasn’t about to own up to my little faux pas and so exclaimed “eugh, so much for clean sea water around here”.

We kissed. I’m so glad it was me that was sick and not him because I would never kiss someone elses sicky mouth…my own? Not such an issue for me. We sort of tried to have sex (note to self: this was never going to work) but gave up after a little while. We decided to go back to his and I walked out of the sea and back on to the beach whilst hot boy had to pee. I got to our belongings first. I bent over to pick up my clothes but it made me dizzy and I puked over the little heap that was some very expensive clothes, phones, purse, wallet, shoes and possibly more! I am classy! My luck was definitely in this night though. Hot boy was still a little way off and so I quickly picked up the puke clothes, rolled them around in sand a bit trying to get the puke off. Failed. The tide had come in a little and so scurried down the beach and dumped the clothes in the sea (even in my drunken stupour I saved my phone!)! I’m not quite sure what I was trying to achieve, because really i achieved nothing. The clothes hadn’t quite sunk / sailed off into the night, so I grabbed them and threw them back onto the sand just as hot boy reached me. I claimed the tide was coming in “faster than it looked” (oh Jen!). Time to cut my loses? I think so! I put on my soaking belongings, grabbed my purse and sauntered up the beach (like nothing had ever happened) with hot boy following a little way behind (he had more clothes to put on). Seriously? “Like nothing had ever happened” – wet, covered in sand and very disheveled, obviously this is how I went out at the beginning of the evening!

Living by the sea cab drivers are pretty used to wet people try to hail cabs and usually they just drive past. I must’ve looked a right hot mess though because I cab pulled up (before hot boy had reached the road) and I got straight in (texted hot boy to tell him I had to run….having learnt it was compulsary to text a boy after abandonment when I made this mistake with DJ several months earlier!).

Anyhoo, I was nearly sick in the cab, but the driver was kind and pulled over for me. I told him I’d get out at walk because I didn’t want to be sick in his cab, but he he was nice and when we got to my parents house he actually got out and walked me to the door! Once I was at the door he left me fumbling in my bag for my keys. I was looking for what seemed like an hour (but realistically was probably a quick glance). I gave up! I slept in my parents front garden, well, in the back of my dad’s truck to be precise – good job I woke up before he went to work!

Moral of the story – sex on the beach is bad. Don’t cheat or you’ll end up looking a hot mess, being left high and dry after an amazing kiss and you’ll get sand in your knickers!! Mixing drinks is bad for you! Karma’s a bitch and she moves fast!!

Shortly after this I confessed to Soldier, over the phone (sorry!) – I thought I should add something about him or you might’ve forgotten there was actually a “relationship” going on whilst these disasters were happening!!

Disclaimer: I’m not an alcoholic!

Footnote: I do not advocate the past time of skinny dipping when drunk – it’s dangerous. Proceed with caution and DO NOT FOLLOW BY MY BAD EXAMPLE! Also, try not to get a cab when drunk, alone and pukey…call a friend!

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Losing My Virginity (TMI style that is!)

Jen — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 07:21:13 +0000

I’ve been watching from afar for a while now – a little too embarrassed of anything I’ve done to post it (that, or it was so traumatic that I’ve blocked it out!). But last Thursday night (I was upset with myself that I didn’t do it Wednesday and then could’ve posted it las Thursday!!!) I had a little accident and so it would seem perfect to join in with LiLu’s TMI thursday…

A word from our sponsor…

The scene – Friday night at my house with friends

The event – Wii Guitar Hero / Band Championships

Involving – Alcohol & me

All was going well. I’d had a stint on the guitar (I do rock on the guitar – bass only, I can’t play lead to save my life!!), then the drums (I <3 the drums, but miss a beat and I get lost for ages!)…and then it was on to the mic!! Let’s just take a moment to understand that I cannot sing…for anything. But, crack on one of my favourite tunes and I’ll give it a go.

By the time the mic came my way I’d had a few too many vodka’s….that’s when it happened…Pat Benatar I love you with all my heart…Youre a heartbreaker, Dream maker, love taker, Dont you mess around with me! That was it for me, there was no chance of survival. Around this time I Tweeted “Dear Guitar Hero…Suck it!” and with that Guitar Hero won the battle. Somewhere in my drunken stupour I tripped over the corner of my fireplace, crashed to the groud, hit my head on the fireplace and landed on the mic!

Nice Swollen Chin / Cheek!

My arm (kind of mic shaped bruise) 2 days later!

This wasn’t the end…no, no, no!

I carried on for a while (encore: Steely Dan – how was I meant to deny my fans!?), but was then sick, which is very unlike me, and with a rapidly increasing bump on my head it was off to the emergency room we went! This is where my memory gets hazy. But I have been semi-reliably informed that I saw a doctor relatively quickly because it was someone I know through work who was on call (bonus)…I then proceeded to be sick on his shoes! Class is not a word I know much about. Thankfully they decided I had concussion (so that gives me plausable deniability with the sick thing – I was actually unwell, not drunk, honest!).

Luckily for me it was a 4 day weekend and I’ve only had to avoid said doctor for 3 days!

There is no moral to this story because, although I took it relatively easy the next day, I was playing Guitar Hero again by 7pm that evening! Just with less alcohol!

So, that concludes my first TMI, not exactly the “P” fest they usually are…but I’m bruised and battered for it! The funny thing is, whilst in the emergency room I was actually thinking to myself “must remember this for TMI!”